Russian Tattoo Addict Removes Penis For Ruining His ‘Look’

Tattooist tattooing young mans arm, close-up. Photo: Kymberlie Dozois Photography (Getty)

Obviously, Adam Curlykale thinks …actually, I don’t know what the hell he’s thinking.

According to Metro, Curlykale is a 32-year-old Russian man who has covered 90 percent of his body in black ink after he beat cancer but was left with skin blemishes as a result of the treatments. After doctors told him he had albinism, Curlykale decided to tattoo himself with the black ink because his pale skin left him depressed.

“I always knew that I was different from the rest of society,” Curlykale said. “My favorite color, for example, has always been gray, in different tones, and that’s why my current skin color is graphite.”

Take a gander at his current look for reference:

Still not the worst ink we’ve ever seen: Everyone Is Laughing At Ben Affleck’s Terrible ‘Bird’ Tattoo

OK, at this point, I actually understand why he did it. But here’s where he loses me again.

Curlykale then decided to get his eyeballs tattooed and then, since it “ruined his look,” he decided to travel to Mexico to get his cock and balls removed, as well. Oh, and his nipples.

Again, for frame of reference, nullification (a.k.a. becoming a nullo) is an extreme form of body modification (involving mostly men) which involves having one’s genitals and/or nipples surgically removed.

That said, I’m a firm believer in doing whatever you want in life. If chopping off your genitals and milky treats sends you into happy time, then go for it. Just know that getting a cashier job at Bloomingdale’s or even Walmart is going to be quite the feat. Even the world’s smallest violin won’t be playing for you when you’re left jobless and broke.