Some Dudes Are Rubbing Nitroglycerin On Their Penises To Get Erections

Photo: robeo (Getty)

Thanks, but I’ll just stick with spinach or the little yellow guys.

According to Metro, there are some guys on this planet who have turned to a new “anti-impotence” gel instead of the usual Viagra pills when they’re having trouble getting hard-ons. That gel? You guessed it – nitro-fucking-glycerin.

Invented in 1847, Wikipedia says that nitroglycerin is most commonly used as “an active ingredient in the manufacture of explosives, mostly dynamite, and as such it is employed in the construction, demolition, and mining industries.” But in 2018 it’s a whole new ballgame, and guys are rubbing it in gel form on their dicks when they’re having issues with getting it up for the ugly girl at bar time.

Researchers found that the anti-impotence gel worked 12 times faster than Viagra, and 44 percent of men were able to “achieve erections” within five minutes of rubbing it on their hogs.

Naturally, there are both advantages and disadvantages when it comes to using the nitroglycerin goo.

“Potential advantages include potential for a fast action and ease of use,” consultant urologist David Ralph said. “Their use could be incorporated into sexual foreplay, increasing the level of intimacy between couples.”

Side effects include headaches and of course, the slight chance that you could blow up your dick. Good luck with that one, fellas.

They’ll need bigger packets of gel in Venezuela: Which Country Has the Biggest Dicks in the World?