Here’s A Texas Lawmaker Who Wants To Fine You 100 Bucks Every Time You Masturbate

Photo: saiyood (Getty)

Here’s something that has the potential to leave the men of Texas more backed up than eating an entire brick of cheddar.

According to TMZ, a Texas lawmaker has introduced a piece of legislation that would fine men $100 every time they punch their clowns.

Photo: Nicolas McComber (Getty)

Democratic state representative Jessica Farrar filed House bill 4260, one that would not only fine guys every time they jerk off but also “require rectal exams before getting a vasectomy, colonoscopy or Viagra prescription.” Farrar said her proposed legislation is “satirical,” and it’s a response to the ridiculous laws women face in the great state of Texas:

“In particular, she points out there are fines for ’emissions outside a woman’s vagina,’ and all potential abortion patients must read ‘A Woman’s Right to Know.'”

Look, we totally empathize with Farrar in regards to those truly unbelievable laws she and other women have to deal with, but introducing a bill that fines dudes 100 clams every time they toss one off, even if it’s satirical, can be beyond dangerous. After all, a lot of Americans thought introducing Donald Trump as a presidential candidate was hilarious, and that joke wound up not having a very humorous punchline.

It’s pretty much the exact opposite sentiment in Italy: Italian Supreme Court Says Masturbating In Public Is Legal

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