Ohio Man Indicted After Allegedly Ejaculating Into Woman’s Orange Juice

That’s not how you make a mimosa.

According to The Smoking Gun, a 72-year-old Ohio man was indicted by a grand jury last week after an August 10 incident in which he allegedly snuck into a 61-year-old woman’s Massillon house, masturbated in a room near the garage and “finished” in a bottle of orange juice. He then shook up the orange juice, put the bottle back in the refrigerator and left her residence.

Ohio Man Indicted After Allegedly Ejaculating Into Woman’s Orange Juice

gross

Officers with the Jackson Township Police Department knew to look for Willis Gene Burdette because the woman’s security cameras recorded everything he did after he used a key in her shed to unlawfully enter her home.

According to the indictment, Burdette could be in deep shit, as it alleges he “did knowingly mingle a biological substance and/or harmful substance, to wit: semen, with a drink, when he knew or had reason to believe that the drink may be ingested or used by another person.”

In a related story, the majority of people in Ohio seem bored.

Here’s one good reason to look at your coffee before you drink it at work: Minnesota Man Admits To Putting Semen In Coworker’s Coffee