11 Hilarious Incidents of Public Sex Gone Wrong
Public sex is always a spectacle to behold. It seems everyone comes out of the woodwork to catch the action. While it’s not cool to be a voyeur, it’s totally cool to be one on the Internet. Here are some of the best stories having to do with doing it in public.
1. Affair Betwixt Coworkers Caught on Tape and Sent Around the World
In late January, the entire clientele at a pub in New Zealand spotted two coworkers shagging in a building across the street. One patron said, “The band that was playing at the time stopped because everyone else was more interested in watching them … We all had a good laugh. It was the highlight of the night,” speaking in a Kiwi accent I wish I had.
They posted video and photographs on Twitter and Facebook and from there, it went viral. The man had a wife and two kids and the woman had recently become single. She has since taken down her Facebook.
2. Cop Wets His Willy
As you can see, a New Mexico police offer slipped the whip through the zip and began pounding a perp on the hood of a car. Also visible in the picture is a dog – maybe a chihuahua – watching the spectacle unfold. It is unclear whether the woman succeeded in getting a free pass on a ticket.
3. Man Caught Dunking His Donut Behind Dunkin’ Donuts Dumpster
Yes, I only picked this because I wanted to write that headline. Last year on St. Patrick’s Day, a viral story arose about two University of Delaware students doing the hibbety-dibbety in broad daylight. Police sought two young people dressed in green, according to Uproxx, which obviously produced no leads.
4. Three Elderly Men Caught Having Sex in England Park (Wearing Tennis Skirts)
“Out in front of us, the path opened up and three elderly men, in their 70s to 80s, were dressed in female clothing, namely tennis skirts, and they were engaging in sexual activity.”
A man and his three children aged three to seven stumbled upon three elderly men wearing tennis skirts having hot old man sex in England last Thursday. Desborough Island is a notorious hookup destination for freaky singles looking to bury the weasel.
The man took his traumatized children back to his car where he found a handwritten note and a URL to a gay dating website. When they drove away they spotted another elderly man walking butt-naked along the road.
5. Estonian Couple Caught Shampooing the Wookie on Bridge
I’ll admit I have no idea where or what Estonia is. That’s a nice bridge, though.
A passerby snapped a photo of a couple taming the strange. A bottle of booze can be seen in the photo. Oh, the whimsy of youthful romance.
6. Love in the Air at “Florida’s Friendliest Retirement Hometown”
Police found Ann Klemm, 68, and her youthful flame David Bobilya, 49, buckwilding in public last June. Her vagina and breasts were exposed, while his pants were around his ankles.
According to police they were “on the stage in the middle of the square having sexual intercourse.”
Kelley, who obviously anyone would want as a grandmother, was arrested two months previously drunk driving with a golf cart.
7. Senior Lovebirds Make Sweet, Sweet Coitus in Car
Two young whippersnappers Linda Titus, 72, and Gary Wells, 62, were spotted aggressively cuddling in the backseat of their car in 2013. The couple, apparently high on Cialis, were belly-bumping outside of a barbecue joint in Sonora, California. Police cited them for indecent exposure, but they should’ve gotten an award.
8. Sexiest Couple of the Year Caught Doinking in Front of Church
Police arrested Page Pais and Reginald Janey for lewd acts, indecent exposure, and public drunkenness in July 2014. Both 52 and fabulous, they were totally nude, administering gland-to-gland combat in full view of passing motorists.
9. Also in Delaware, Man and Woman Caught Rogering on Chipotle Roof
Michael Suh and Nicole Germack knew they were being watched. When police arrived and demanded they stop at once, Nicole looked straight at the officer, acknowledging him, and continued buffing the banana. Good egg.
10. Man and Woman Slap Sloppies at “50 Shades of Grey” Event
Last week TMZ reported two “50 Shades of Grey” fans smashing pissers at an event in Las Vegas. She lifted her leg above her head, indicating coital commencement. Video shows them running to the exit just as a woman enters.
11. Coolest Couple in Universe Gets Caught by Google Street Car
In South Australia, a man and a woman posed for Google mid-frigging. The woman is waving and the man is drinking a beer. If it were me, I would die happily knowing I pulled the perfect prank. Google has indeed censored the original image, but the uncensored version can be seen here.