dane cook
HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA - AUGUST 08: Comedian Dane Cook and Girlfriend Kelsi Taylor attend the 15th Annual Oscar Qualifying HollyShorts Film Festival Opening Night Smirnoff Pre-Reception on August 08, 2019 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Greg Doherty/Getty Images for HollyShorts Film Festival)

50-Year-Old Dane Cook Gets Engaged to a 23-Year-Old After 5 Years of Dating (No Joke)

We have officially reached a new rock-bottom level of douchebag. That’s because comedian Dane Cook announced his engagement to aspiring singer and Pilates instructor Kelsi Taylor.

“What’s so controversial about that?” you wonder. Well, Cook is 50 years old. Taylor is 23. But this isn’t your typical May-December romance…because the couple has been dating for five years. For those who aren’t great at math, that means they started dating when Taylor was 18 – barely legal. Apparently they met when she was only 15. Talk about robbing the cradle (though that’s way too cute a term for what we suspect was going on here).

To announce their engagement, Cook shared a series of videos and pics of the happy couple on Instagram with the caption, “She said yes!”

 

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The duo also gave an exclusive gushy interview to People, in which Cook shared his “plans” and “goals” for the impending marriage.

“We just want to continue to inspire each other, to build a family together, stay mindful and encouraging always, and to keep laughing through it all,” he said.

Taylor added: “I’m about to spend the rest of my life with my favorite person and my best friend — what is there to not look forward to? Family has always been such an important part of my life and the idea of expanding it and starting our own family together with the man of my dreams just fills my heart.”

Oh, dear. There’s so much we could say here (like, honey, he isn’t going to be around for the rest of your life, and sir, there’s nothing funny about grooming) but we’ll bite our tongues and let Twitter make some legitimately funny jokes for us.

Here’s hoping Miss Taylor comes to her senses before she says “I do.” One viewing of any of Cook’s comedy specials should do the trick.

Cover Photo: Greg Doherty / Contributor (Getty Images)
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