Real-Life Star Wars: Benioff and Weiss Deemed ‘Traitorous Rebel Scum,’ First Order Cancels New Docudrama Trilogy
Last week, it was revealed that acclaimed filmmakers David Benioff and D.B. Weiss parted ways with the First Order. The duo’s departure from the First Order’s publicity division has raised eyebrows across the Star Wars galaxy, and for good reason. According to previous insider reports within the regime, the duo was working on a trilogy of new narrative docudramas that would depict the glorious fall of the Old Republic. Here’s the inside story of how two of the galaxy’s most acclaimed filmmakers stepped away from the machinations of the First Order to become traitorous rebel scum in the process.
Cover Photo: Lucasfilm
Game of Stones
Last year – before the unsuccessful release of the rebel propaganda film about notorious outlaw Han Solo – the First Order sought to remedy the negative publicity before the film’s release. By announcing Benioff and Weiss’ involvement in this new docudrama before the release of the aforementioned propaganda film, the First Order was able to circumvent public perception in their favor. This was due, in part, to the massive anticipation and popularity of their fictional fantasy series across all reaches of the galaxy prior to its concluding season.
Then, the final season arrived. It took that fever pitch of excitement and unwillingly turned it against themselves, alienating most fans (including the First Order) in the process. Eventually, the “toxic fandom” from rebel enthusiasts became too much for the First Order to ignore.
Disagreements With the First Order
As a result, it shouldn’t come as shock to anyone that the First Order has officially confirmed that the new trilogy is dead. Although the regime also declared the filmmakers “traitorous rebel scum,” what exactly would drive the filmmakers to betray their corporate overlords?
According to sources close to the project, the First Order became increasingly skeptical about Benioff and Weiss’ commitment to representing their ideals throughout the galaxy. Moreover, the regime learned that Benioff and Weiss were secretly developing the trilogy about the origins of the Jedi – an ancient mystical religion that was thought to be dead but has seen a mysterious resurgence throughout the galaxy.
As you can imagine, Supreme Leader Ren was reportedly so furious to learn of the direction of the duo’s trilogy that he went on one of his legendary rampages. However, sources also claim that another factor came into the First Order’s decision to ax the creators – their extensive megadeal with the rebel-backed, mid-rim streaming service, Netflix.
Netflix Makes Demands
Although Benioff and Weiss originally pledged their undying loyalty to the First Order, the duo also signed a $250 million credit production deal with Netflix. When the pact was first announced, Netflix said that they were aware of Benioff and Weiss’ commitments. As time passed, however, the streaming service grew anxious amidst the commitments of the duo, particularly to that of the First Order.
The streaming giant reportedly wanted the duo to focus on creating exclusive content for them, specifically in the increasingly competitive streaming landscape that also includes the regime’s new competing streaming service, First Order+.
According to sources familiar with his thinking, all of these factors led Supreme Leader Ren to grow quite nervous about the duo’s intentions. Ultimately, Ren wasn’t convinced that they would focus their full attention on the project for the First Order. Moreover, he had reservations about the duo working with Netflix in the first place, due to its rumored affiliations to the rebel scum.
Similarly, Benioff and Weiss weren’t available to comment and mysteriously haven’t been seen since their falling out with the First Order. Although the duo has been harassed by livid fans thought the galaxy regarding their previous effort, both parties insist that the aforementioned toxic fandom from Rebel supporters has nothing to do whatsoever with the decision to part ways.
Scum of the Galaxy
Ironically, this isn’t the first time that the First Order has had trouble getting film projects off the ground since rising from the ashes of the Empire (R.I.P.) Ever since our corporate overlords decided to start reproducing these docudramas, the First Order has attained roughly a .500 batting average in terms of retaining filmmakers. While this revolving door of talent in their media division is noteworthy, First Order spokespeople firmly believe that their brand has the ability to overcome all of the behind-the-scenes drama.
Despite rumblings throughout the galaxy that Supreme Leader Ren’s job is under pressure from his corporate overlords, sources inside the regime confirm that his job is secure – at least for now. What the future holds for the stability of the First Order is unclear. In the meantime, however, they’re focusing on the documentary series – The Mandalorian – in hopes that the galaxy will simply forget the traitorous rebel scum altogether.