Sarah Jessica Parker has spent her entire career tricking women into thinking that four ugly chicks could live in New York City and have every wealthy, attractive man fall at their feet with lavish gifts and professions of undying love. So women in their 20s flocked to the city with nothing but a Vogue subscription and a dream, knowing they would find the perfect man. Then they find out that actual hot chicks live in NYC and wealthy, attractive men would actually fuck them instead, so these women are now in their 30s at the bar talking shit into their Cosmopolitan because they know they have to go home to nothing but a closet full of Louboutins and their Wish Book filled with clippings from fashion week and pictures of destination weddings. But long story short, Sarah Jessica Parker attended the Robin Hood Foundation last night. You can click on the rest of the pics if you want, but nobody got scared and clubbed her to death so they really don’t get any better.
Arm yourself with the best jokes for your large foreheaded frenemies.