Joaquin Phoenix is a Lunatic

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Joaquin Phoenix went on David Letterman last night, and uh, can’t he just go ahead a stop now since everyone knows this is all a joke? If he wants us to think he’s crazy he could have at least brushed his teeth with a dead bird or accused a mailbox of keeping secrets about him. I mean, that’s what the homeless guys I pay to beat each other up do and they don’t even get to go on Letterman. How long must they suffer in silence? I sincerely hope the stimulus package has measures in it to address this kind of thing.