According to an In Touch Weekly magazine poll, Orlando Bloom won the title of “Sexiest Guy of Summer 2007.” The poll is based on “hunky” male stars who will be appearing in films set to be released this summer. The top 10 list is as follows:
1. Orlando Bloom
2. Brad Pitt 3. Scott Speedman 4. Tyrese Gibson 5. Josh Hartnett 6. Chris Evans 7. Aaron Eckhart 8. Josh Duhamel 9. Matt Damon 10. Zac Efron
I still don’t understand how metrosexual girlie-man types constantly make these lists, but then I guess my definition of “hunk” isn’t limited to physique alone. At least Brad Pitt is near the top. I think it’s safe to say he gets the least amount of facials and manicures out of most of the guys on this list, which automatically makes him more hunky in my book. Orlando Bloom may be a little less gay about wardrobe, Mystic Tans and personal hygene than most of these guys, but he’s just a bad Johnny Depp impersonator when it comes down to it. I mean, I wore lace gloves, black plastic bracelets, 3 belts, 5 foot tall bangs, ruffled socks and pink neon pumps back in the 80s, but that didn’t make me Madonna. Okay, no, yes it did. I was hot. Shut up.
Brad Pitt taking Maddox to school in Prague on May 14th:
Update: I have no idea why this deliciously sexy piece of ass, who I would encourage to do things to me which would make Kim Kardashian blush, is not on this list.
Film Calendar November 2013
Orson Scott Card’s controversial sci-fi epic
heads to theaters courtesy of Ender’s Game X-Men Origins: Wolverine director Gavin Hood. Looking for small-scale thrills? Keanu Reeves makes his directorial debut with the martial arts extravaganza , starring Man of Tai Chi The Matrix stuntman Tiger Hu Chen in a series of fights choreographed by the great Yuen Woo Ping.
Looking for something more a little more meaningful? Matthew McConaughey makes his big Oscar bid with
, about a straight man diagnosed with AIDs in 1986 who smuggles FDA-unapproved medication in the U.S. Looking for something a lot less meaningful? Dallas Buyers Club stars Owen Wilson and Woody Harrelson as animated turkeys who travel back in time to stop the first Thanksgiving.
Celebrate the birth of everyone’s favorite makeup effects guru with a marathon of Tom Savini’s best and goriest films:
Maniac (1980), Creepshow (1982), Day of the Dead (1985), and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986).
Tom Savini turns 67 in 2013, and if you saw him recently in
, you know that he doesn’t look a day over 50.
If you saw
and thought the only problem was that it was too short, today is a good day to go Blu-ray shopping. The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey: Extended Edition adds 13 more minutes to the already whopping two-hours-and-forty-nine minute running time.
Also available on Blu-ray November 5: Stephanie Meyer’s complete vampire/werewolf romance saga gets a five-film Blu-ray boxed set in
, Adam Sandler returns to ravage small town America in Twilight Forever , Mark Wahlberg and Denzel Washington team up to shoot everybody and everything in Grown Ups 2 , and Channing Tatum protects President Jaime Foxx from terrorists in Roland Emmerich’s 2 Guns .
White House Down
The AFI Film Festival runs from November 7 through November 14, so check into
CraveOnline regularly for all the latest reviews of films that could very well change this year’s Oscar race, including Ben Stiller’s The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, Spike Jonze’s Her, Peter Berg’s The Lone Survivor and John Lee Hancock’s Saving Mr. Banks.
officially opens on November 8, but if you don’t want the two post-credits scenes spoiled for you, you’d better head out to the multiplex on November 7 to catch the first midnight showing. For Asgard!
Thor: The Dark World
If you’re too classy to see
in theaters (or, more likely, if tickets are simply sold out), November 8 also marks the release of three major art house films.
Thor: The Dark World
The Book Thief stars Geoffrey Rush and Emily Watson as the adopted parents of a young communist refugee (Sofie Nélisse) coming of age – and stealing books – in Nazi Germany. Oscar-nominated screenwriter John Sayles writes and directs Go for Sisters, about an addict (Yolonda Ross) and her parole officer (LisaGay Hamilton) – and also childhood friends – who cross the Mexican border to find the addict’s missing son. In How I Live Now, The Host’s Saoirse Ronan struggles to survive in a post-apocalyptic United Kingdom.
Celebrate the 25th anniversary of everyone’s favorite killer doll, because Tom Holland’s
Child’s Play premiered in theaters on November 11, 1988. Relive all of Chucky’s greatest murders in the recently released Chucky: The Complete Collection Blu-ray, and follow along with CraveOnline’s exclusive video series The Chucky Files, featuring in-depth interviews with creator Don Mancini about every film in the franchise.
Head to the your local video store (or pre-order online, if you must) for the hottest Blu-ray releases. The summer’s most controversial blockbuster
finally comes to home video, the animated racing snail comedy Man of Steel zooms onto home video, a landmark anime classic gets the special edition treatment with Turbo Akira: 25th Anniversary Edition, and horror fans will definitely want to check out F.W. Murnau’s original vampire classic in the new Nosferatu: 2-Disc Remastered Edition (recently declared one of The 50 Scariest Movies Ever Made by CraveOnline).
Major movie releases are running scared this week, but you may want to take your significant other to see
Best Man Holiday, a sequel to the 1999 romantic comedy The Best Man, which catches up with Taye Diggs, Terrence Howard, Nia Long, Sanaa Lathan and their equally implausibly attractive friends a decade-and-a-half later.
Also opening in theaters, Oscar-winner Alexander Payne (
Sideways, The Descendants) is back with his latest award-winning drama: , starring Will Forte as a man escorting his father, Bruce Dern, from Montana to Nebraska to collect a million dollar prize that may or may not be waiting for him.
The Wolf of Wall Street may have been pushed back to December 25 (if we’re lucky), but you can still celebrate the 71st birthday of one of the great American directors with any of his classic films. Our favorites? Try Mean Streets (1973), Taxi Driver (1976), Raging Bull (1980) The Last Temptation of Christ (1988), Goodfellas (1990), Cape Fear (1991), The Aviator (2004) and The Departed (2006), the film that finally won him a long-deserved Oscar for Best Director.
Don’t have the time?
Just watch the music video for Michael Jackson’s “Bad.” You know he directed that too, right?
Initially a box office bomb, now an established holiday classic,
A Christmas Story came out 30 years ago this November 18, in 1983. The late Bob Clark directed this nostalgia-fueled tale of a little boy named Ralphie (future Iron Man producer Peter Billingsley… and yes, that’s accurate) who wants a BB gun for Christmas. The whole world seems to conspire against him getting his holiday wish, under the suspiciously ubiquitous excuse of “You’ll shoot your eye out.”
A Christmas Story will be inescapable on TV soon. You may as well get it over with and watch it today.
November 19 brings all the August movie releases to Blu-ray, including the disappointing thriller
(starring Liam Hemsworth, Gary Oldman and Harrison Ford), Paranoia (starring Dane Cook as a cropdusting plane who dreams of racing), Planes (starring Jason Sudeikis and Jennifer Aniston as a drug dealer and a stripper who pose as a wholesome family to smuggle pot across the border), and Edgar Wright’s acclaimed sci-fi comedy We’re the Millers (starring Simon Pegg and Nick Frost as estranged friends who reunite to complete an epic pub crawl and fight robots).
The World’s End
Also on Blu-ray: the unsettling Indonesian death squad documentary
The Act of Killing, and Shout! Factory’s new collector’s edition of John Carpenter’s original, low-budget action classic Assault on Precinct 13.
There’s a good chance you’re already in line for
right now. If not, you may need a reminder that the first adaptation of Suzanne Collins’ sci-fi book series was a worldwide phenomenon that shot Jennifer Lawrence to superstardom, featured attractive young teens killing each other in a dystopic futurescape, and had Elizabeth Banks in the world’s goofiest outfits.
The Hunger Games: Catching Fire
Also in theaters: Vince Vaughn finds out his sperm donations led to 533 births in
The Delivery Man, and Stephen Frears turns his dramatic eye to Philomena, the story of a journalist (Steve Coogan) who helps a woman named Philomena (Judi Dench) search for the son who was taken from her decades earlier, when she was forced to live in a convent. Mmm… Oscar bait…
More late summer releases hit the Blu-ray market today: Ethan Hawke plays an ex-racecar driver forced to commit crimes in
, the star-studded gang from Getaway RED returns in the aptly titled action-comedy , Ashton Kutcher tries to switch things up by starring in the Steve Jobs biopic RED 2 , and acclaimed filmmaker Wong Kar Wai directs the latest biography of Bruce Lee’s sifu Ip Man in Jobs .
Have more money to burn? Don’t forget that today marks the release of
Breaking Bad: The Complete Series, and the long-awaited Blu-ray release of the complete Zatoichi: The Blind Swordsman collection from Criterion.
Diverse options reign at the multiplex this weekend. Kasi Lemmons directs Forest Whitaker, Angela Bassett and Jennifer Hudson in the live-action Christmas musical
Black Nativity, Jason Statham fights James Franco in the action-thriller Homefront (written by Sylvester Stallone!), Josh Brolin stars in Spike Lee’s remake of the cult Korean classic Oldboy, and Disney will try to melt your heart with their latest animated epic, Frozen, starring Kristen Bell and Josh Gad.
If you absolutely must go out shopping, then our prayers are with you.
Ridley Scott turns 76 on November 30. We’re going to celebrate the career of the man who directed
Alien (1979), Blade Runner (1982), Thelma & Louise (1991), Gladiator (2000) and Black Hawk Down (2001) by pretending never happened.