Jamie Foxx is Not Desperate

After posing for pictures dry-humping at the Golden Globes, Jamie Foxx and Eva Longoria are denying rumors that they are an item. The pair are insisting they are just friends since they met on the set of his music video. Foxx states that he was only looking after Longoria as a favor to Tony Parker.

I told Tony I would look after her. That’s it.”

Tony Parker may need to hire professionals to walk Eva around with a stick collar every time she goes out. I don’t know if they make muzzles for vaginas or not, but that’s an idea he may want to jot down. Because if Jamie Foxx is the best protection he can find, then he might as well start auditioning his other friends for the gang bang. Foxx may be an okay actor, but if he takes my girlfriend to a funeral I’m checking her inner thighs for bruises the minute she gets home.