Jessica Simpson is having trouble

The New York Daily News has another chapter today in the seemingly endless line of stories claiming that Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey are having trouble in their marriage. Today’s rumor comes out of Miami and the VMA’s:

At the Ocean Drive/Bodog party in Miami, the (couple) seemed to exude all the warmth of liquid nitrogen – and Jessica’s wedding ring was conspicuously missing – as they walked the red carpet. “Are we gonna do this together?” Simpson demanded of her hubby, who shrugged indifferently, according to a (source). Once inside the VIP section of the Loews Hotel, Nick and Jessica barely spoke. On leaving, the couple clasped hands while in sight of the paparazzi – but Simpson let go and marched ahead when they reached the privacy of the kitchen.”

There are never any pictures of Nick and Jess fighting, so either all these second hand stories are a pack of jealous lies or Jessica Simpson is a Machiavellian genius, able to change characters and personality on a moment’s notice, dumb and giggly one second, in complete control and aware of everything around her the next. The camera goes on and she stares at her food with the perplexed look of a caveman time traveler, the camera goes off and she’s barking orders, a phone on each ear – “Where did the Nikkei open”, “Call Drucker and order the new centrifuge”, “Why is the satellite off its orbit”, “If you fags cant install the blow insulation the way I want it, get my mask and I’ll do it myself”.

I’m not gonna lie to you, I think it might be the first one.

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