gaming

Vibrating PS5 Console Finally Completes Perverse Relationship We Have With Gaming, Great Way to Lose Virginity

Horniness and gaming go hand and hand. Like, hello! Could there be anything more blatantly phallic than a joystick? But a camming platform called Dreamcam is taking the sexualization of video games up a notch with a new device that allows you to basically hump your PlayStation.

No, we’re not kidding. The device – which is eerily similar to a Fleshlight – is called the “P(eni)S5.” It attaches to the PS5 console and plugs into its USB port…then it vibrates. Because it syncs with PlayStation games, you can get off while simultaneously playing everything from Call of Duty to Fortnite.

“Having trouble choosing between your girlfriend or that brand-new PS5 she got you for Christmas? While there’s nothing like getting down-and-dirty with that special someone, we all know that hopping on Warzone or Fortnite with the boys all night is an experience unto itself,” Dreamcam Vice President Daniel Golden said in a statement to XBIZ. “Now, Dreamcam is allowing you to do both at the same time, all while satisfying your need to hit the sticks.”

He continued: “Users can put on Dreamcam’s VR goggles and take their PS5 to over six replica game landscapes. Simply log in and prepare to be transported to a world of your choosing. Have you always fantasized about boning your PS5 at Tilted Towers? Now you can! Bring your attachment to Verdansk Stadium in Warzone to bang out a quick one. Talk about the ultimate adrenaline rush.”

The P(eni)S5 was inspired by a meme that circulated during PS5’s launch that insinuated that gamers were choosing their PS5 over sex with their girlfriends. (The real joke is that gamers have girlfriends. Ha!)

While, hey, we get it, gaming can be stressful, and everyone needs a release from time to time, would you please tend to your masturbatory habits offline? Your fellow players are begging you.

Cover Photo: Dreamcam

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