Twerking Is Now Illegal In Louisiana

Since white girls are now doing that black people's Satan dance called "twerking", Jesus will not stand for such an abomination in DeQuincy, Lousiana. The wondrous god you serve will use his holy appointed Mayor to sentence you to 30 days in jail since he's not allowed to do it for gay marriage anymore. National Report says:

The dance craze twerking has become such a problem in the small town of DeQuincy, Louisiana that city officials have made it illegal. Maynard Wilkens who is the Mayor of DeQuincy spoke to CNN about the ban on twerking that takes effect at midnight. “Twerking is a defiant act against Jesus and his teachings. The rest of the country can keep their heads in the sand about this sexual act before marriage, but not the great city of DeQuincy,” Wilkens said. “We will still allow dancing in DeQuincy, just no jigglin’, shakin’ and ‘dry humping’ anywhere in our city limits.” Bobby Joe Williams who is the sheriff in the town told reporters about the penalties for those caught twerking. “First time offenders will receive a mandatory 30 days in the county jail. After that it will be a much harsher punishment,” Williams said. “We are not taking this matter lightly. There ain’t gonna be no twerkin’ in my city, not no more.”

Remember, kids. Pretty soon all the old white men will be dead and you'll be free to twerk. You can even twerk for Jesus. Jesus was cool like that.

UPDATE: Apparently this is not true. You've fooled me again, Internet! But we can still all enjoy these videos and realize it will probably be illegal in Louisiana soon enough.