Science Says You Will Live Longer If You Smell Your Partner’s Farts

Photo: Fox

It looks as though you can stop blaming it on the dog, fellas.

According to UNILAD, a recent study published in Medicinal Chemistry Communications says that smelling your partner’s farts will extend your life, although it sounds as though the quality of that life will be quite shitty.

Science Says You Will Live Longer If You Smell Your Partner’s Farts

A research team at the University of Exeter who presumably drew the short straw and was forced to study farts discovered that “cellular exposure to small amounts of the gas can prevent mitochondrial damage which has many health implications.”

“Although hydrogen sulfide is well known as a pungent, foul-smelling gas in rotten eggs and flatulence, it is naturally produced in the body and could in fact be a healthcare hero,” Dr. Mark Wood said, adding that taking a whiff when your partner drops ass has the ability to not only reduce the risk of cancer, strokes and heart attacks, but it has also been “proven” to prevent arthritis and dementia in old age.

Of course the older you get, attempting to help your partner’s health by tearing ass can be quite the risk, as the chances of shitting yourself increase dramatically, and that’s just not good for anybody’s well-being.

This guy’s attempt to make people live longer went rather poorly: Georgia Student Arrested For Clearing Out Athens Bar With Fart Spray