Drunk Chinese Man Almost Dies After Shoving Two Live Fish Up His Ass

Photo: CreativeNature_nl (Getty)

How bored is this guy? I mean, somebody get this kid an Xbox for Christ’s sake.

According to the Daily Mail, a drunk 45-year-old idiot in China was recently rushed to a hospital in Guangzhou after he took two live fish and jammed them up his anus.

The man apparently got beyond shithoused on March 10, you know, the kind of shithoused where you think it’s a great idea to shove two pond loaches up your butt. He reportedly put the fish up his brown star by himself and was then rushed to the hospital the next day because of  “a high fever, low blood pressure and severe stomach pain.”

Photo: via Huanqiu

Once inside the man’s ass, the two fish swam up into his intestines, and one of them even “broke through the bowel wall.” Doctors did an abdominal digital radiography to locate the fish, one of which measured in at six inches long. The second one was a little tougher to find because it was “stuck in the upper left section of his abdomen”

Thankfully, doctors were able to remove the second fish as well and save his life. They said if the second fish would have swam further into his upper organs, this story would have had a deadly ending.

He has since been placed in intensive care, and hopefully he’ll be back up and at ’em so he can become a Scoutmaster or something.

Your anus is also not a good place for vegetable storage: Doctors Surgically Remove 18-Inch Vegetable From Man Who Used It As Sex Toy

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