If You Like Coffee And Blow Jobs Then You’ll Love The ‘Fellatio Cafe’

June 24, 2016

Photo: Bruce Yuanyue Bi (Getty)

Yeah, can you make sure the creamer in my cup of joe is the regular kind? Thanks.

According to the Daily Mail, a cafe coming to Geneva, Switzerland, by the end of the year has the balls to charge men around 60 bucks for a cup of coffee, but if you’re lucky, the prostitute that comes with it will tickle yours when she’s finished.

That’s right, kids. A “fellatio cafe” where men can enjoy a coffee or latte and a knob job while they drink it is going to be a real thing before 2016 comes to a close. Customers would order a coffee, sit down at the bar, order a girl from an iPad and then enjoy their Tuesday morning.

“In five or ten minutes, it’s all over,” a representative from Facegirl named Bradley Chavet said.

In a related story, I will no longer be getting coffee with my father during our annual trip to Switzerland.

If you’re going to get robbed, this is probably the best way: Nashville Woman Robs Man While Giving Him Oral Sex

Tommy Gimler is a stand-up comedian, musician, writer, emcee and all-around good guy. He has worked hundreds of stages across the country, including those at The Laugh Factory, The World Famous Comedy Store and dozens of Improvs.

Tommy has had the pleasure of emceeing events for amazing clients such as Budweiser, Mitsubishi, Chase, Discovery, Animal Planet in front of thousands of people at events like the Super Bowl, X Games, U.S. Open, Little League World Series.