A young man is surrounded by beautiful women in the VIP section of a bar.

‘Golden Penis Syndrome’ Is New College Student Plague Every Man Wants, Double-Wrap That Thing in a Magnum While You’re At It

There’s an affliction overtaking college-aged men. It’s called “Golden Penis Syndrome,” and based on the name alone, you can imagine how eager everyone is to get it.

It all started because the number of men enrolled in higher education has dropped. Dudes currently make up 40.5% of undergrad students in the United States, according to the National Student Clearinghouse, so the ladies are clamoring to date them. This has led to guys having an overinflated sense of importance, arrogance, and cockiness because they are in such high demand. What’s more, they feel the liberty to ghost women and even cheat on them because they know dicks are in short supply.

“The sex ratios among college-educated, hetero singles in Manhattan is approximately three women for every two men. I’ve interviewed a lot of men who were continuing to take advantage of that imbalance,” journalist Jon Birger told Mel Magazine about this sex-driven phenomenon.

As he further explained to The Daily Mail, “When men are in undersupply, the dating culture becomes less monogamous — men are more likely to treat women as sex objects and treat relationships as disposable.”

But wait, it gets worse. These dudes are not only treating women like shit, but they’re also slacking off when it comes to personal hygiene and performance in the sack – because they can.

While the dudes with Golden Penis Syndrome might seem to be in an enviable position, they’re not…in fact, they’re ruining it for the rest of us. Piss off enough women and they’ll stop dating altogether, leaving all of us living like monks. But if you are one of the lucky ones getting showered with affection, do the world a favor and double-wrap that thing in a Magnum.

Cover Photo: stray_cat (Getty Images)