Gossip Girl: 15 Private Things About Your Sex Life Women Share With Their Friends
Women tell each other everything. When they get together for brunch, discussion of your sex life is on the menu. This could be good news if you’re a fantastic lover, but for most guys, there are probably a few unsavory details you wish she’d keep under wraps. (Good luck with that.) While you can’t prevent her from spilling the tea on your bedroom behavior, you can get a better idea of exactly what’s being discussed. These are the 15 private things about your sex life women share with their friends.
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When and where it went down.
Details matter. The juicier, the better. Hopefully you gave her a better story to tell than "after dinner, in the bedroom, missionary position."
That you are exceptionally big.
If what you're packin' is tiny, she might not mention it out of embarrassment. If it's average, she also might keep that to herself. But if you're big? Oh, yeah, that's going to get talked about. With hand gestures.
That the foreplay was bad.
If you slobbered all over her neck, mistreated her nipples, or otherwise fucked up the foreplay, she's going to share it. Bad sex should not be suffered alone.
If you used protection.
Or more importantly, if you didn't. Then brunch will turn into a strategy session on whether or not she could have gotten pregnant and if the morning-after pill will still be effective.
What you said during sex.
We're all for dirty talk, but if what you said was really far out or downright offensive, she's going to run that by her friends, either for a laugh or for advice on how to shut you up during sex.
How great you are at oral.
No woman wants to her about the great oral her friend is getting. (It makes her jealous.) But if you're on the receiving end, how can you help but brag?
That you gave her multiple orgasms.
Congrats on getting her there again and again and again. You don't mind if she tells everyone she knows about it, do you?
Who she fantasizes about during sex.
You thought you were the leading man of her fantasy life? Think again. There might not be a man involved at all.
That freaky thing you wanted to try.
New sex moves can be scary. She needs to check in with her girlfriends and make sure that what you want to attempt isn't insane, dangerous, or something a girl like her shouldn't do. They'll take a vote. Majority rules.
That it went horribly wrong.
If the sex was bad, she's probably disappointed and questions whether the two of you are doomed in the bedroom or if this is just a one-time mishap. Her friends will help her assess the situation rationally.
That you came too early.
Women don't know how to bring up performance issues with you. That's why they go to their friends instead. If you don't want her sharing that you blew your load too quickly, by all means, learn some withholding techniques. And keep it out of her hair.
That you found the G-spot. Finally.
This is a feat few women get to experience. There will be champagne toasts in your honor. You are a sex genius and she will be singing your praises forevermore.
That she thinks something's wrong with your penis.
Maybe she noticed a curve, a vein, or a bump and now she's concerned. She's tried Google image searching and it was terrifying. Who else can tell her truthfully if it's normal other than her friends, who have also seen their share of dicks? They'll have you diagnosed before the eggs Benedict arrives.
That something's missing.
Some women don't know how to ask for what they need in bed. (Or they're stubborn and don't think they should have to ask.) Her girlfriends will let her bitch and moan about whatever area of sex you're coming up short in.
That she had to finish herself off.
It's a total bummer when a woman has to finish herself off in the presence of a man. But it happens. And when it happens, her friends are going to comfort her and probably tell her to dump your ass.