Future Tech: The Flush of the Future
Photo: Peter Cade (GettyImages)
There are two types of people in 2019: those who are all in on voice assistants and those who are terrified of random tech companies listening to them snore. If you’re the latter, the following article will serve to further terrify you. If you’re the former, you’re exactly the type of person who’d be interested in the latest innovations in toiletry. Coming out of the CES show earlier this month, there were several companies with porcelain thrones packed with silicone extras. Welcome to the age of the future toilet.
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The fact that Kohler's Numi 2.0 is a toilet seems almost incidental. It's got big speakers that play music and support Amazon's Alexa. So, if you ever needed to know the capital of Mongolia (Alexa told us it was Ulaanbaatar) while you were taking care of business, you're good to go. Lights in the back of the seat can "set the mood," which implies things that we don't really want to think about. They can also sync up to whatever music you're playing on your toilet. In case you wanted to have real-life pants-off dance-offs, this extravagant bathroom installation will run you $7,000 when it releases at the end of 2019.
Nominated for an award by CES judges, the Neorest puts its technology to more sensible use. It can automatically open its lid as you approach and clean up shop when you depart. It's got all the accouterments that you'd expect for in-between. Heated seat, an air dryer, warm water, and even an odor blocker. Alas, all these features are even more expensive than speakers, and it will cost a cool $10,000 to take this home.
Future toilets aren't solely reserved for the mad fools who want to spend thousands of dollars on themselves. Why not also spend an exorbitant fee on your best friend? The Inubox is a dog's best friend, an automatic pooper scooper that bags up waste and cleans itself. You still have to take the waste out yourself (unless we missed the part where it comes with a little butter robot companion).
If dogs can have these high-tech toilets, then surely cats can as well. The Lavviebot is a litter box that cycles through litter and sorts out the waste for you to dispose of. It also sends phone notifications whenever there is activity, in case you really need to know what your feline friend is up to. Since the cat climbs inside it, it can double as a little clubhouse or a hiding spot when Uncle Jim comes to town.
If you've decided to grab everything on this list, you, your dog, and your cat are now relieving yourselves in style. Since you're obviously in a Brewster's Millions situation, let's also spruce up your mirror while we're making changes.
Familiar to anyone who's seen an episode of Black Mirror, Electric Mirror's fancy reflective screens bring all the usability of a computer monitor to your sink-going time. Throw on a YouTube video, check out your security camera, or respond to your litter box's notifications all with a single swipe. Truly, the future is useful.
Photo: Electric Mirror