Oregon Man Mocks Marijuana Ordinance With Letter Asking to Ban Fart Smells

Hey, even those who hate weed would probably prefer the smell of herb over their Uncle Floyd’s farts.

According to the East Oregonian, a Pendleton man recently wrote a letter to the newspaper in response to the city’s decision to fine marijuana smokers up to $500 if somebody complains about the stench they leave behind despite the fact that smoking pot will be legal in the state of Oregon beginning in July.

And it’s probably the funniest thing we’ve ever read.

Going by the name of Peter Walters, the man begged the city council to take the next step and ban fart smells. Here’s his plea:

“Now that this important work has been completed, I hope that the city council will move on to restricting the other offensive smell that plagues our community: farts.

While farting my be legal in Oregon, many (including myself) are offended by the flatulent stench. Too often, homeowners and businesses fail to contain farts to their property, forcing the rest of us to put up with the smell. Some habitual farmers argue that they need to fart for medical reasons, but that doesn’t mean my kids should have to smell their farts.

This issue greatly affects me as I have a roommate whose recreational farting has been negatively affecting my quality of life for several months now.”

While it probably won’t win a Pulitzer, you have to think that Walters’ letter does make him the frontrunner for this year’s High Times’ “Stoner of the Year.”

Everything you need to know about farts: 12 Very Interesting Facts About Farts


// ad on openWeb