Melissa Etheridge is Not Spreading the Wealth

As we discussed yesterday, Proposition 8 passed this week, effectively banning same-sex marriage in California. In case you didn’t know, Melissa Etheridge is gay and has a plan to fight the will of the people. Be warned: it includes liberal whining, taking things to unnecessary extremes, ignorance of historical slogans, and completely blowing things out of proportion. Right on, sister! Etheridge says on the The Daily Beast:

“Okay. So Prop 8 passed. Alright, I get it. 51% of you think that I am a second class citizen. Alright then. So my wife, uh I mean, roommate? Girlfriend? Special lady friend? You are gonna have to help me here because I am not sure what to call her now. Anyways, she and I are not allowed the same right under the state constitution as any other citizen. Okay, so I am taking that to mean I do not have to pay my state taxes because I am not a full citizen. I mean that would just be wrong, to make someone pay taxes and not give them the same rights, sounds sort of like that taxation without representation thing from the history books.

Okay, cool I don’t mean to get too personal here but there is a lot I can do with the extra half a million dollars that I will be keeping instead of handing it over to the state of California. Oh, and I am sure Ellen will be a little excited to keep her bazillion bucks that she pays in taxes too. Wow, come to think of it, there are quite a few of us fortunate gay folks that will be having some extra cash this year. What recession? We’re gay! I am sure there will be a little box on the tax forms now single, married, divorced, gay, check here if you are gay, yeah, that’s not so bad. Of course all of the waiters and hairdressers and UPS workers and gym teachers and such, they won’t have to pay their taxes either.”

Wow. Maybe this would’ve been more effective if Melissa Etheridge just didn’t pay her taxes instead of telling the whole world that she wasn’t. I hope she keeps fighting though. Because for me, it invokes the spirit of the runaway slaves who used to blog on their iMac while on the balcony of their Malibu mansion in between meetings with their accountant and their penguin egg and lavender facials. Oh, wait. Sorry. It doesn’t evoke that at all.

I was looking for Melissa Etheridge pictures but my penis stopped on “Melissa George.” I hope that’s okay:


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