Jennifer Lopez is Still a Bitch

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Jennifer Lopez never ever disappoints when it comes to telling the world how great Jennifer Lopez is. And I have to admit, this time it’s pretty impressive. Even for me. You’ve been warned. As you read this, try not to punch a hole in the first thing you see. MSNBC reports:

Poor Jennifer Lopez. The new mom is training for a triathlon, but everyone is too busy watching the Olympics to notice. Lopez, who appeared on “Good Morning America” Aug. 18 to discuss her preparations for the Malibu Triathlon, was overheard saying after the segment that she “couldn’t understand why everyone is talking about that swimmer,” according to a GMA source. “She couldn’t come up with (eight-time gold-medal winner Michael) Phelps’ name, and then she yammered on about how she was the one training for a triathlon just six months after giving birth, and how that was the big story right now, not ‘the swimmer.'” Lopez is planning on donating money raised for her race to the Children’s Hospital of Los Angeles. To help drum up attention, she started a blog to share tips on training. “Touch up makeup prior to your run” hasn’t made its way into any posts, despite Lopez being spotted arriving in Central Park with her makeup artist later in the day. “Apparently, Jenny from the Block requires a lot of powder,” says the source.”

Yeah, Jennifer. Who cares to see the most decorated Olympian of all time make history when we can watch your fat ass putting on mascara and struggling to breathe during a triathalon you’ll never finish? Here’s a hint: Everyone. So shut the hell up and take a moment to finally realize that you only have a career because Selena got shot in the back. You suck and you’re completely irrelevant. The only way you’d be a lead story today is if you fell into a vat of chemicals and grew 50 feet then attacked a city.

Photos: Splash