Here are some pictures of Paris Hilton being taken to court. Long story short, the sheriff’s office refused to take Paris to court, so the judge sent the LAPD to her house to grab her and her wonky eye. In other news, I think I just fell in love with that judge. But my love is conditional, of course. If he doesn’t send her back to jail, I’m just going to call him fat and ugly.
Arm yourself with the best jokes for your large foreheaded frenemies.