One day after Paris Hilton was sentenced to 45 days in jail, the habitual drunk driver was out shopping with her underwear showing which made her Marilyn Monroe style photo-op worthwhile for the paparazzi. Also present was Paris Hilton’s diarrhea of the mouth mommy, Kathy Hilton. The same Kathy Hilton who is blissfully unaware that most people don’t give a shit that she married one of the many unattractive Hilton heirs, and Kathy is a washed-up actress nobody knows or cares about – especially since she blatantly, publicly, stupidly disrespects the people who hold her daughter’s freedom in their hands.
In other news, it’s been reported people, animals and inanimate objects worldwide can’t stop laughing at Paris Hilton being sent to jail. I tried to fill my car with gas yesterday and couldn’t, so the gas pump gave me a refund for all the gas my car laughed, choked on and spit on the pavement.
Paris trying and failing to be Marilyn:
Paris the day she got sentenced to 45 days in jail:
paris-hilton-may-5-marilyn-monroe
Week 8 Start Or Sit
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Denarius Moore WR - Oakland
I like Moore's ability; always have. But the Steelers defense has slowly improved as the season has wore on. Ike Taylor is not a good matchup and I still don't fully trust Terrelle Pryor. Moore should only be started in the deepest of leagues and if you really need a sub on a bye.
SIT
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Jarrett Boykin WR - Green Bay
Supposedly the Packers still like him a lot, even with his initial struggles while filling in for Randall Cobb. With Jermichael Finley now out and James Jones still trying to find his footing coming back from injury, who else do the Packers have to throw to? Aaron Rodgers is going to pass the ball 40-50 times each game and Boykin will be a big part of the offense. The Vikings gave up the fourth most points per game to wideouts over the last five weeks. Expect Boykin to keep putting up solid numbers the rest of the way, especially this week against a lackluster Minnesota pass defense.
START
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Michael Vick QB - Philadelphia
Vick won't be 100 percent so don't expect huge numbers, but you have to start any quarterback going up against the New York Giants, right? The G-men have given up the third most fantasy points to QBs over the last five weeks and we know how high powered the fast-paced Philly offense can be. Vick is a solid bye-week sub.
START
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Peyton Hillis RB - New York Giants
I know this sounds crazy, but I'm starting Hillis this week as a flex. Philadelphia's defense is atrocious and the Giants still don't have anyone they trust handing the ball off to consistently. As long as Hillis doesn't fumble the pigskin he'll find the endzone again in his second week as a Giant.
START
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Stevie Johnson WR - Buffalo
I still don't trust Johnson, even though he's a solid pass catcher. There are simply three problems here: he still might not be recovered from his injury (he's only scored 7 fantasy points this month), I don't trust any quarterback throwing the ball not named E.J. Manuel and New Orleans is better than expected at protecting the air. If I have to start any Buffalo WR it would be Robert Woods, but for this week I'm staying clear from both.
SIT