Wipe that sweat off your brow, we made it through another week of madness. More and more people may be putting Twitter down to escape from the daily doom updates, and in doing so they could be missing out on some of the hilarity that is still out there trying to make the world not seem so glum. Thankfully you have us, and it’s Friday, which means it’s once again time for the funniest tweets of the week! If you were unfortunate to miss our last collection of tweets, not to worry, you poor bastard. We’re here for you if you need us. Now, catch up on all the Twitter insanity here then be sure to follow us on Twitter @Mandatory.
Security guard at the bank said I could take my mask off if I wanted haha nice try buddy but this isn't my first robbery
— Michael Longfellow (@Longfellowww) June 22, 2021
B-52s “Rock Lobster” (1978) pic.twitter.com/cJaBBDL5ei
— Tim Duffy™ (@TimDuffy) June 22, 2021
Whenever I leave a restaurant, I always stop by a random table and say, “Thank you for taking care of our check.”
— Steve Martin (@SteveMartinToGo) June 21, 2021
Shout out to all the daddies out there, with the breakfast in bed and the handmade cards from the rugrats and the getting away with being lazy as shit for the day and whatnot.
— George Wallace (@MrGeorgeWallace) June 20, 2021
Cowardly delivery robot rushes away from confrontation. #TheyrePlanningSomething pic.twitter.com/r1gKYrT2ZP
— Dan Ewen Ⓥ (@VaguelyFunnyDan) June 22, 2021
I took an edible late last night so for everyone I DM'd "U up?" I wasn't trying to hook up but rather explain to you my theory about the Russian in the woods from that Sopranos episode
— Matt Oswalt (@MattOswaltVA) June 19, 2021
all i have ever really cared about in life is that bob saget is happy
— Conner Altz (@ConnerAltz) June 23, 2021
Parking meter cops should have to park legally (yes I just got a ticket)
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) June 23, 2021
can't wait for school plays again so we can get more moments like when my friend played Peter Pan pic.twitter.com/ECpdsDgt0w
— Nathan Cykiert (@nathancykiert) June 21, 2021
Just got back from the dentist and they said I had very little buildup on my teeth so I was hootin and hollerin. Got kicked out again. But I’m still flyin high
— smellody (@emmkayeff) June 24, 2021
still waiting on a local news station brave enough to do a segment on how to tell if your kid's a narc
— maura quint (possibly parody sometimes depending) (@behindyourback) June 24, 2021
When I don't do the dishes for a week so I have to use chopsticks to eat my penne pasta – that's fusion cuisine, baby
— Pjörk? (@NicoleConlan) June 23, 2021
“Your holiness, I’d like to speak to you about the Avengers Initiative.” pic.twitter.com/A69XZEFG1b
— Oliver Willis (@owillis) June 23, 2021
Cats are known for their speed and agility pic.twitter.com/JU7khgHAVL
— Quinn Sutherland (@ReelQuinn) June 24, 2021
The pottery scene from Ghost, except it's me standing behind the hot dog vendor helping him put ketchup on my hot dog.
— Eden Dranger (@Eden_Eats) June 20, 2021
