Thank goodness for Twitter or we’d never survive the coronavirus quarantine. The bite-sized social media platform provides us with an ongoing list of good jokes and relatable experiences that make social distancing and isolation that much easier to bear. Though we may be alone most of the time these days, we’re not lonely as long as our phones are within hand’s reach. We’ve scoured Twitter for the 20 funniest tweets about life under quarantine. Scroll, have a laugh, and forget that we’re living in unprecedented pandemic conditions for a minute.
Cover Photo: urbazon (Getty Images)
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Day three. Quarantine has left no choice. The xmas tree must come down.
— player/coach (@CMPunk) March 18, 2020
Quarantine is just fancy camping if you think about it
— TUCKER (@JERICHO) March 18, 2020
I am a writer, under a deadline, locked down in a quarantine. You know what that fucking means right?
Hell yeah! My kitchen is immaculate.
— C. Robert Cargill (@Massawyrm) March 18, 2020
This quarantine is really fattening my curves, if ya know what I mean
— Scott Aukerman (@ScottAukerman) March 18, 2020
If I don’t learn atleast one tiktok dance during this quarantine It was all for nothing
— B R E N N E N (@BrennenTaylor) March 18, 2020
Took my first quarantine nap today and think I finally understand what Baker meant about waking up feeling dangerous
— Joey (@JoeyMulinaro) March 18, 2020
If you leave me on read during quarantine you’re cancelled
— A R Y I A (@badboywolfy) March 18, 2020
Quarantine Day 6:
I think I’m ready to cut my own hair
— Linz DeFranco (@LinzDeFranco) March 18, 2020
also there truly are two types of people in quarantine… my fiancée who works out twice a day and i, who has been in the same outfit for 48 hours, and has played nintendo switch so long that my hands don’t know a different position
— Kate Austin (@KateAustin_) March 18, 2020
day 4 of quarantine: just beat halo 1-3 on legendary with a guitar hero controller plz don’t ask how
— ✞ (@GUNNERSELLWHITE) March 18, 2020
day 7 of quarantine has anyone else noticed the duolingo owl is kinda thicc
— logan (@brainwxrms) March 18, 2020
My quarantine survival plan:
snacks
snacks
snacks
complain
snacks
snacks
snacks
complain
snacks
snacks
snacks
snacks
snacks
complain
snacks— Academic Chatter (@AcademicChatter) March 18, 2020
I know we always say this place is a hellsite and it usually is, but thank god for Twitter during quarantine. It’s great to know everyone is the same amount of miserable and horny
— Pete Blackburn (@PeteBlackburn) March 18, 2020
Day 3 of Quarantine:
Numerous blackouts have occurred around my neighborhood.
Not the power but me off of tequila
— Dude ᐞᐄᐞ (@yo_mando69) March 15, 2020
i’m a girl in a mexican household, i’ve been in quarantine my whole life
— ✰ (@sleepychava) March 13, 2020
QUARANTINE DIARY
Day 1: I have stocked up on enough non-perishable food and supplies to last me for months, maybe years, so that I can remain in isolation for as long as it takes to see out this pandemic
Day 1 + 45 minutes: I am in the supermarket because I wanted a Twix
— Sir Michael (@Michael1979) March 12, 2020
I’m going to end up pregnant again with this #COVID19 quarantine
We have to get out of the house!
@DustinPoirier #freakyfreaky #sorrynotsorry— Jolie Poirier (@joliepoirier) March 18, 2020
when you find out your daily lifestyle is actually called “quarantine” pic.twitter.com/oPEFak09Ob
— Charlie (@charlieamber94) March 16, 2020
THINGS YOU CAN DO IN QUARANTINE:
-chores
-sweep till the floor’s all clean
-polish
-wax
-do laundry
-mop & shine up
-sweep again and by then it’s like 7:15
-read a book or maybe 2 or 3
-add a few new paintings to my gallery
-play guitar
-knit
-cook
-wonder when will my life begin— Cassie | Jaime grief account (@CassK9) March 15, 2020
day 3 of quarantine: haven’t had sex in two months
— 5 Inches is Enough (@DeepDownDirtty) March 18, 2020
Help Prevent the Spread of the Coronavirus
Visit the Centers for Disease Control at CDC.gov or the World Health Organization at Who.int for the latest information on the coronavirus and learn what you can do to stop the spread.
