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2020 election is more than 500 days away, that hasn’t stopped campaign season from getting into full swing (vote). With everyone’s crazy uncle throwing their hats in the ring, we’re officially joining the party with our own brand of Mandatory humor with 10 candidate fantasy team names if the sport was the 2020 election.
Presidential candidates tend to be polarized groups, but we can all agree they’re nuts, whether you’re Team Blue or Team Insane. You kind of have to be if you think you have all of the answers for an entire country. But what if instead of running for politics, they were all just playing fantasy sports? We should be so lucky.
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Presidential Fantasy Names
A long-standing independent, Bernie Sanders is enjoying the limelight as possibly the most legitimate challenger to Trump. Bernie is that frustrating fantasy opponent who just won’t go away. He’s used the same strategies for years but only seems to get stronger.
Whole Latte Crap
Starbucks man Howard Schultz is all about everyone just getting along. He also really likes the idea of being rich and powerful. He’s got rich down, but will voters trust the head of a company that can't even get customers’ names right? Photo: Pier Marco Tacca (Getty Images)
Biden My Time
Slow Joe has happily waited for his chance at the throne but now he’s going full-steam ahead. He’s the happy old uncle who makes some people uncomfortable and isn’t afraid of awkwardly long hugs.
The policy Terminator, Elizabeth Warren, has been called every man in the book by Trump. It'll be that much better if she wins.
Beto Off on Top the Table
The almost-senator from Texas seems to have no idea why he’s running for president, but he’s just so darned happy to be here. We don’t know what Beto O'Rourke really stands for (but we know what he stands on).
Photo: Chip Somodevilla (Getty Images)
Booker Booker Trump Cooker
Cory Booker has bet his race on the need for accessible education and income equality. While he’s not pulling the numbers of other candidates, education is always a good bet.
For A Good Time, Buttigieg
An enigma that his opponents can’t really wrap their head around, Pete Buttigieg is a long shot for president but he has some momentum. He may not be the scariest opponent but he’ll quickly take you out when you’re not looking. Photo: Scott Olson (Getty Images)
The Fighting Kamalas
Ms. Harris has run an aggressive campaign that positions her as a fighter. There’s no denying that, judging by senate hearing footage and the way she’s questioned certain people. Is it enough? We’ll see, but if she’s going down, it’ll be swinging.
Gosh, darn it, if this Minnesotan isn’t just tickled pink to be running for president. Amy Klobuchar kicked off her campaign in a blizzard, which seemed fitting. But those chances...uff da.
Photo: Stephen Maturen (Getty Images)
Your Friendly Neo-Neighborly MAGA Man
The incumbent and league champion who isn’t going to let anyone forget it. The president is all about brand recognition, baby. That and tweets. Winning is only fun when others are there to see it.