Some Genius Injected Himself With His Own Semen

Photo: Diy13 (Getty Images)

Listen, folks, we’re all for finding alternative therapies and treatments that support better health and well-being. We’re totally behind society being collectively healthy. But there’s a limit to how many high-fives we’ll give, especially if you just used your hand like this guy did when he injected his semen into himself.

Some genius thought it was a good idea to take a fresh batch of his own love soup as if it’s some sort of miracle medicine capable of eradicating pain. Instead of finding the cure he surely hoped for, he wound up in a hospital and we can’t figure out why he didn’t see this, um, coming.

Maybe try this next time: Weed Isn’t Harmful To Anyone, Says World Health Organization

The 33-year-old man, whose name wasn’t revealed, resides in Ireland and was reportedly attempting to treat his lower-back pain. For roughly 18 months, the guy was injecting a syringe full of semen into his arm at a rate of once a month. We get monthly treatments, but maybe just fork over the money for a massage?

Apparently, the treatment was a way of sparking innovation. Well, the attempts to innovate resulted in emphysema and edema, which required an intravenous antimicrobial drip. He didn’t stick around to let doctors drain out the excess fluid that developed under his skin because he discharged himself prematurely. He knows how to fix all of his issues, we guess.

Health advice worth taking: Research Says The More Sex You Have, The Longer You’ll Live

The strange treatment came to light in a study done by Dr. Lisa Dunne. The name of her report is spot-on for the unique situation, ‘Semenly’ Harmless Back Pain: An Unusual Presentation of a Subcutaneous Abscess. Bravo.

Let this be a lesson to you all, Mandatory Nation. We want you to take good care of your bodies; not do a self-care session then put the goop back in your bodies. Be well.