Amazon Robot Wants To Give People the Gift of Bear Repellent

Photo: Justin Sullivan/Staff (Getty Images)

Now that humans and AI are working side by side with greater frequency, it’s only a matter of time before our mass extinction at the “hands” of these cyborg co-workers comes to pass. If it’s Amazon robots, they’re just more likely to spray us with bear repellent, as they’re historically known to do.

Sounds crazy, right? But this isn’t the first time this has happened. What began as an ordinary day last week at the company’s Fulfillment Center in Robbinsville, New Jersey, turned into an assembly line of chaos when a 9-ounce can of bear repellant was “accidentally” punctured by a butterfingered robot.

That’s not all: Amazon Is Cooking Alexa Into Your Home

Reportedly, 80 people experienced difficulty breathing, and 24 employees were hospitalized. We knew the robots might try something in the near future, but we weren’t expecting bear repellent.

In case you were wondering: Your Amazon Alexa Is Most Likely Possessed By A Demon

Capsaicin, the active ingredient in bear repellent, will stop a grizzly in its tracks, but it actually works even better on an Amazon warehouse employee. Be careful when you accept your Christmas gifts this holiday season.


// ad on openWeb