A businesswoman texting with a large cell phone.

You’re Not A True Stalker Until You Send 65,000 Texts And Break In To Take A Bath

Texting On A Large Smart Phone. Photo: filadendron (Getty)

“Oh what would I do w ur blood! I’d wanna bathe in it.”

Yeah, that’s a totally reasonable text message to send someone you went on one date with over a year ago.

It’s safe to assume Jacqueline Ades is smitten. If breaking into a man’s home whom she met on a dating app to take a bath doesn’t prove it, surely the 65,000 texts sent between now and last July do. Court documents state upwards of 500 a day came through. Yes, we said court documents. She’s finally been put on trial for her obsessive behavior (which we haven’t even gotten into the meat of yet).

stalker, jacqueline ades
Photo: Paradise Valley Police Department

According to ABC News, the 31-year-old met her undisclosed stalkee on a dating app early 2017 and the two went on a date together. You could say a continued interest was a bit one-sided, because between July 2017 and May 2018, Paradise Valley Police Department received four calls regarding Ades showing up at either the victim’s home or place of business. One such incident in April ended with police “…[finding] Ades in the residence taking a bath” while her crush (for lack of a better term) was out of the country.

He got off easy by comparison: Mountain Lion ‘Stalks’ Man For Over An Hour On Trail

If you couldn’t tell by now, this story is a bit convoluted. The sheer volume of bizarre behavior displayed by Ades is insane. However, it all culminated on May 4th when she showed up to the victim’s workplace “acting irrationally and claiming to be the wife of the owner.” This particular encounter was finally enough to be taken into custody on May 8. Felony charges for stalking, threatening and intimidating followed. Tack on a misdemeanor count of harassment for good measure.

Since July, Ades had been arrested multiple times on suspicion of trespassing. We suppose it’s pretty easy to spy on your unrequited love after you pack up and move from your home in Miami to Arizona out of pure spite. Sorry, we meant, um, love? She explained to reporters while awaiting trial, “I told him, ‘If you ever block me on this app I would come and move here.’ So he blocked me, so I came here.”

Great stuff. Please, do go on:

Hmm, sounds kinda familiar.