Michigan Planet Fitness Evacuated Over WiFi Bomb Scare

Photo: DON EMMERT/AFP (Getty)

It’s so difficult to get out of a gym membership from Planet Fitness, you have to write them a breakup letter to do it. However, in the great state of Michigan, someone discovered a workaround that appears to be a lot more effective: name your WiFi network “remote detonator” and watch the meatheads and gym rats swarm.

Who wants to go to the gym anyways? There’s More Bacteria On Gym Equipment Than On A Toilet Seat

OK, we’re not actually recommending this tactic, but it is accurate nonetheless. A full-on bomb scare evacuation was prompted at the Saginaw Township gym on Sunday evening for the very reason, said Police Chief Donald Pussehl:

Around 6 p.m., a gym patron looking through available WiFi connections noticed one named “remote detonator” and brought it to the manager’s attention.

planet fitness wifi bomb scare

Photo: Bernard Weil/Toronto Star (Getty)

Granted, a name like that would freak out anyone in their right mind, but probably didn’t warrant bomb-sniffing dogs at the same time. However, policy is policy, and Planet Fitness spokesperson McCall Gosselin says the right call was made:

If there’s any suspicion of any device or anything in the club that would require police attention, the protocol is they close the facility and contact police. Safety is always first.

The incident surely feels excessive in hindsight considering no one was able to get their pump on for a solid three hours while the investigation took place, but there is always a takeaway from news stories like this. Unfortunately, from the mouth of Chief Pussehl himself, the only lesson you might learn from this incident is that naming your WiFi network something misleading isn’t illegal and can’t be punished as such. He specifically noted when interviewed on the matter that “FBI surveillance van” is a common network name used to get a rise out of people. So if you are one of those jokesters (or Mr./Ms. “Remote Detonator”), pranks for nothing.