Arizona Woman Fires Shots At Her Husband While He’s On The Toilet To ‘Make Him Listen’

Photo: vchal (Getty)

If our calculations are correct, he can’t listen to you if he’s deaf.

According to ABC 6, a Goodyear man taking a shit in his house recently was forced to suddenly shift his focus and worry about not getting gunned down by his 69-year-old wife when she barged in the bathroom and “fired two shots above his head.”

Police said they received a call from the man on December 30, and they met him near his house. He explained to them that his wife of 32 years had been upset with him to the point where she was “yelling at him for two days,” but it suddenly took a crazy turn when she began shooting at him while he was dropping a deuce.

Arizona Woman Fires Shots At Her Husband While He’s On The Toilet To ‘Make Him Listen’

Police met Linda Jean Fahn inside the couple’s home, where she promptly told them, “I shot two bullets at the wall above his head to make him listen to me.”

Fahn also told police that her hubby “would have to be 10 feet tall to be hit by the bullets,” but after police measured the bullet holes in the wall, they determined that she only missed her husband by…wait for it…seven inches.

Police arrested Fahn and charged her with aggravated assault. No word if her husband is listening to her now or doing the exact opposite, which would obviously be living it up in Mexico and dropping his Social Security checks on hookers.

Marriage is tough: Nevada Woman Poisons Husband’s Lucky Charms To Avoid Having Sex With Him, Flees To Mexico