Tinder User’s Off-Color Serial Killer Joke Lands Him Behind Bars
Smartphone with police car. Photo: BlindTurtle (Getty).
Tinder can be a tough egg to crack. Whether it’s coming up with the perfect series of profile pictures to land you the perfect match or simply making sure you’re not accidentally using Tinder for orangutans (yep, really a thing), it can be as confusing as it is frustrating to land yourself a date. After all, if endless lime puns don’t work, what chance to any of use have at finding love?
Alas, eventually someone is bound to swipe right, and then the hard part is over, right? Well, not exactly. That all depends on how good your sarcasm game is. Or your date’s sense of humor. Either way, Reddit user Immortalsnail learned this the hard way after a less than innocent joke landed him in a rather unfavorable situation. But let’s allow him to tell the story:
Tinder User’s Serial Killer Joke Lands Him Behind Bars
“Cue my first date with a girl I met on Tinder, we meet up at a restaurant and get to talking. This are going great, she thinks I’m funnier in person (when does that ever happen?!), she actually invites me to the mall to hangout more with some of her friends when dinner is over.
So after the food arrives the conversation turns a little more towards how we met (pay close attention and you will spot my mistake). She states she’s glad I’m normal and not some sort of serial killer. Now I could have just laughed… I could have but I was funny remember? I replied with “Oh thanks for thinking I’m normal! But I actually am a serial killer, bodies for days buried out at the farm.”
She laughed, I laughed, I thought I did great at making it sound sarcastic. She excuses herself to the bathroom to do whatever girls do in bathrooms on dates. It was taking a questionably long time for her to return and I was slightly worried she bailed and stuck me with the bill, my luck right? Wrong.”
OK, so maybe it just wasn’t a love connection. It happens. Who knows, she could still come back. Maybe even bring her cute friends with her.
“So unbelievably wrong, my luck was worse as police officers suddenly appear out of nowhere and tell me to keep both of my hands visible on the table.
At this point I’m confused, this must be a joke. I see my date coming with a staff member and get ready for Ashton Kutcher to appear, no such luck. The police ask if it’s me and she says ya, the cops get me to stand up and handcuff me and walk me out, not a single person seems to want to answer any of my questions. I’m in the car and the police are outside talking to my date for a few minutes when they get into the car with me and ask me if I told my date I was a serial killer, areyoufuckingkiddingme…
I tell them yes but I was joking.
LPT: Don’t admit to police you told someone you were a serial killer.
So that derailed my plans, I spent the next 5-6 hours explaining myself over and over and over that I was kidding. I guess eventually they either believed me or got tired of hearing me speak much to my lawyers disapproval (to me speaking) and let me go and reminded me that my jokes suck.”
Ouch. That’s a whole new level of rejection right there. But I guess there is always the Joe Dirt approach next time to be extra safe.