Michigan Couple Gets Engaged At Walmart Then Steals Sex Toys From Spencer’s Gifts

That sounds about right.

According to The Smoking Gun, a 25-year-old Bay City man proposed to his girlfriend at Walmart last week and then spent New Year’s Eve in jail with his new fiancee after the couple was busted stealing sex toys from Spencer’s Gifts inside the Bay City Mall across the street.

Police said they responded to a shoplifting complaint at Spencer’s last Wednesday, but the couple fled the scene before they arrived. They first caught up with 20-year-old Sheri Moore, who told them she didn’t take anything from the store despite the fact that she was found with stolen jewelry in her pockets.

A short while later, they found William Cornelius sleeping at a food court table inside the mall, apparently having passed out while tying his shoes. Police searched him and found $80.63 worth of stolen merchandise from Spencer’s, including a “Bride-To-Be” thong, a $14.99 vibrator, “BJ Blast” oral sex candy, and a $5.99 edible thong.

Cornelius told police he had stolen the items for his fiancee and that he had just proposed to her at the Walmart across the street. Police reviewed the surveillance footage there, and sure enough, there was Cornelius purchasing a $29.62 engagement ring and using the store’s public address system (with permission) to propose to Moore.

Moore was charged with misdemeanor larceny and eventually told police that Cornelius ganked everything. Cornelius was hit with a misdemeanor charge of retail fraud and then told police he did it because of … wait for it … Tramadol he had been given during a recent hospital visit.

But, hey, obviously the most important thing here is that they love each other.

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