Grow the Hottest Peppers Ever Because You Hate Yourself With This at Home Kit

Maybe you’ve recently been dumped. Maybe most of your tastebuds were incinerated in a tragic leaf-blower incident. Or maybe you just plain hate your mouth. Whatever the reason, if you want to experience the true insanity of searing hot food, you can’t settle for store-bought hot sauces like some chump. You need to grow those peppers yourself – but how? Surely there are federal regulations in place to prevent such dangerous devices from falling into civilian hands?

Actually, no: you can grow Carolina Reaper and Ghost Pepper Chilis right in your own home with this Grow Kit, which is just $17.99 (reduced from $19) for a limited time, and for anyone who isn’t a total coward.

Let’s get down to business to defeat your mouth: The Carolina Reaper is officially the hottest pepper on the planet, with an average of 1,641,000 Scoville Heat Units (SHU), the official rating system for heat units. This is the world record. There are no peppers hotter than the Carolina Reaper that have yet been discovered by scientists. It also, it should be noted, tastes freaking awesome.

The (arguably) more famous Ghost Pepper Chili has a mere 1 million SHU, which will paralyze rather than outright kill most skinny people or small children, since that means it’s 400 times hotter than a jalapeno. It also features a sweet, fruity flavor, with some light smokiness.

Needless to say, both these peppers are the kind of thing you add in very small quantities to very large batches of food. You don’t layer these monsters on your taco like bell peppers, you grind them into a fine powder and add a pinch to your vat of chili after carefully donning nitrile gloves. Then you take those nitrile gloves off and incinerate them.

Then you eat the best darn chili you’ve ever had.

The Carolina Reaper and Ghost Pepper Chili Grow Kit won’t be $17.99 forever, so upgrade your chili sooner than later. Unless you’re a total coward or something.