Actual Overwatch problems are few and far between, as you will have learned from our Overwatch review in which we branded Blizzard’s new FPS a “multiplayer masterpiece.” However, there are a number of recurring incidents in the game that are starting to gripe the majority of Overwatch players, most of which are a result of playing alongside selfish or inexplicably oblivious teammates, or fighting against hard-to-beat enemies.
With that being said, here are 10 Overwatch problems that all players will face:
1. Three Reapers
“No Support Heroes,” the prompt on the Hero Select screen states, suggesting that one of your teammates should make a change. Unfortunately, level 30+ players HardcoreGamer_0796, EdgeLord14 and BigWilly69 have all decided that they are Reapers, and none of them are willing to make that change. Despite all players having clearly put a great deal of time into Overwatch since its launch, the lure of getting an easy Play of the Game by hitting their respective Death Blossoms on an objective still proves to be too much. You’re going to lose this match miserably, sure, but at least one of the guys will have a cool 7-second clip to post to Reddit.
2. No one cares about Mercy
Feel pity for the solo player assuming the role of Mercy, for they know not what they do. Those who have decided to go lone wolf in Overwatch and play the game without the assistance of their friends, yet who still choose to pick Mercy, are in for a particularly thankless ride. Spending the majority of each match tailing a mute teammate who will outright refuse to defend her should she find herself under attack, solo Mercy players can more often than not be found desperately chasing a Reaper, keeping him healed before he fucks off out of sight and leaves her to die a sad, lonely death.
3. The unrepentant Bastion
You’re playing defense on Escort, but despite the attacking team pushing the Payload forwards with alarming frequency, one player on your team is adamant that there is no better Hero for this task than Bastion. Despite him having set up shop on the same set of stairs, before being mercilessly destroyed by the same Widowmaker for the past 5 minutes, this Bastion is completely confident that at some point during this match he will be allowed to transform himself into a turret without someone unceremoniously killing him during this process. Despite all of this he’ll still get Play of the Game, due to him kicking off the match by firing aimlessly into the enemy team’s base and somehow picking up a quad kill.
4. The wriggly Tracer
There has never been a more useless piece of advice spouted during a video game than a teammate shouting “Tracer’s behind you!” in Overwatch. Of course Tracer is behind you. Tracer is also in front of you. Then she’s to your left, then she’s to your right, then she’s standing on your head doing an obnoxious little wave and taunting you with her excruciatingly exaggerated British accent. Tracer is everywhere, an omnipresent life force designed to ruin your day by making you twirl around on the spot so much you look like you’re auditioning for a part in a shit production of Swan Lake. It’s undignified, is what it is.
5. Snipers for everyone
There is a breed of FPS player who is unable to place any weapon in their player-character’s hands other than a sniper. Regardless of the situation, they wholeheartedly believe that their skills as a long-range specialist will carry their team to victory, such is their proficiency at handling one of these weapons. In Overwatch you are sometimes greeted by more than one of these players per match, all assuming the role of Widowmaker, all standing on some ledge in the distance and all doing absolutely nothing to help you and your teammates push towards victory. Their existence may cause you to suffer a humiliating defeat, but that one impressive headshot they bagged throughout the entirety of the game will validate their choice to continue to pick Widowmaker until the end of time.
6. “It’s High Noo-oh fuck.”
Overwatch is reliant upon audio cues to inform players when enemies are charging in with their Ultimate abilities, which can be very handy if you were about to be killed with one, but not so handy if you’re trying to execute one. This is a particularly prominent issue when playing as McRee, who will stumble into a group of enemies, bellow “IT’S HIGH NOON!” and then watch as they all either disperse or turn around and shoot him in the mouth. While all Heroes have a taunt that they repeat when performing their Ultimate, McRee’s is so difficult to pull off correctly that you’ll often be left standing there, vacantly staring in the direction of your enemies while they flee your immediate vicinity. “It’s high noon!” is basically McRee shouting “Look, guys, I’m standing here with my gun and I’m gonna shoot you in the back! I’m right here, guys, look!” for all its subtlety.
7. Opening 100 Loot Boxes and only getting three Legendary skins
You try your best to not cave into the allure of microtransactions, but that golden Reinhardt skin looks REALLY cool and you REALLY, REALLY want it. 30 minutes later and you’ve opened hundreds of Loot Boxes, found a Legendary skin for Zenyatta and obtained fourteen duplicates of the same Hanzo voice line, and now you’re forced to consider that you may not be able to afford to eat this weekend.
8. Mei of the Game
Mei is one of Overwatch‘s best Heroes, but you wouldn’t know that from looking at Play of the Games or post-game stats. She instead skulks around the battlefield planting enemies on the spot with her freezing ability, setting up ice walls to prevent them from harm and generally being a peculiar nuisance for the enemy team. Mei players, we salute you, even if no one really acknowledges that you exist.
9. God Damn Genji
You’ve hunted Genji down, pinned him into a corner and are ready to unload an entire clip of ammo into him when, suddenly, he activates Deflect and you’re headshotted with your own shotgun blast. If you could see his face he’d undoubtedly be laughing, and you’d definitely want to punch him in it.
10. Getting unnecessarily flustered about the end-of-match voting round
You’ve been the unquestionable MVP of the game, carrying your team to victory and rightfully earning a place among the four players deemed the most vital throughout the match. However, you watch in horror as no one – not even your own teammates – choose to vote for you in the end-of-match voting round, with them instead opting to celebrate a Bastion who got 7 turret kills, because of course he did, he’s a fucking Bastion – he’s literally a WALKING TURRET. These votes count for absolutely nothing, but you want them anyway. You want ALL of them.