8 Other Movie Stars We’d Like to Volunteer For Retirement Following the Sad Exit of Bruce Willis

Let’s take a moment to trash some movie stars. Why not? We deserve it. We’re all so busy tackling comedians and lengthening various parts of our bodies that we forget to take time to smell the roses. Whoever said negativity doesn’t warm the cockles never subtracted the cost of living to imagine a life without student debt and health insurance.

OK, you caught us. We totally have an ulterior motive here. Maybe chugging the swill of neverending political insanity and planetary woe is causing us inexplicable micro-aggression flare-ups, like acid reflux for the soul with no Tums large enough to ease the pain. Or maybe following the sudden retirement of Bruce Willis, we have to channel our inner sadness into the focused bashing of innocent movie stars to feel better. Everybody copes with grief differently.

So don’t worry if your favorite actor is on this list. It’s just a friendly game of Sophie’s Choice without the tears and none of the guilt. (Not to mention, retirement doesn’t mean what it used to. Just ask Tom Brady, Jay-Z, Steven Soderbergh, Doja Cat, and Jim Carrey probably.)

So, who wants to play? We’ll go first.

Cover Photo: ROBYN BECK (Getty Images)


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