Original ‘TMNT’ Movie Turns 30, Here’s Teenage Millennial Ninja Turtles
The year was 1990. We were two years removed from the release of Tim Burton’s Batman and 12 years removed from Richard Donner’s Superman: The Movie. Comic book movies were far from the cultural phenomenon that they are today. It’s a shame because the ‘90s played host to a slew of films that showed just how entertaining comic book films could be. Movies like The Crow, Blade, Batman Returns and so many more paved the way for future films. There was one film, however, that was far beyond its time. It was dark, yet playful. It had action, adventure, and attitude. More than anything, this film had heart.
The film was Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and it was the highest-grossing independent film of all time, up to that point. The live-action TMNT movie was about as close to its source material as a comic film could be. It had hints of the extremely popular animated series that so many ‘80s kids grew up watching as well. TMNT was the consummate comic book movie. That’s why we’re still talking about it, 30 years after its release.
But what if the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were modeled after today’s teenagers? Nunchucks and bowstaffs would be replaced by cellphones and Snapchat. Yes, it’s a scary world to look at it, but a fascinating one nonetheless. So, come with us as we explore the world of Teenage Millennial Ninja Turtles.
Cover Photo: New Line Cinema
Turtle power turns 35: The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Have Seriously Matured
They'd Order Pizza Via Grub Hub
They'd Post Every Fight to TikTok
They Would Send Dick Pics to April O'Neil
Their Weapons Would Be Replaced by Juuls
Casey Jones Would Be Non-Binary (As They Should Be)
Their Pizza Would Be Gluten-Free
There'd Be Less 'Ninja,' More Yoga
Shredder's Outfit Would Be Recyclable
April Would Look Like Megan Fox...Oh, Wait
Splinter Would Be Less of a Master, More of an Emotional Support Animal