Awkwafina Somehow Cut at Oscars, Academy Rumored to Serve Plastic Bottles of Dasani Instead
They say Hollywood is made up of nothing but fake, undecomposable plastic. Well, the 92nd Academy Awards airing Sunday, Feb. 9 has finally proven this to be true. With a laundry list of snubs already raising the ire of fans and performers alike, the Oscars’ decision to also snub eco-friendly dinner service is the straw breaking the prop camel’s back. Where the Golden Globes nominated (and awarded) a diverse pool of mercurial talent while boldly serving a vegan meal on reusable plates, the Oscars are taking a tacitly different approach.
By snubbing Awkwafina, the Oscars are sending a clear message to their awards show nemesis at the Globes. Adding further insult to injury, it’s rumored they’ll be serving 12-packs of Dasani on every table, along with white rhino meatloaf in Styrofoam platters (with plastic sporks and knives). In protest, we’re boycotting any live shots that cut away to attendees who may be eating during the ceremony. For the sake of humanity, we suggest you do the same. Here are a few other ways to let the Academy know you disapprove of their old-fashioned choices for Hollywood’s big night.
Photo: Jemal Countess / Stringer (Getty Images)
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Leave a flaming bag of poo on the Academy’s doorstep.
It's a classy, victimless crime. Trust us. They'll get the message.
Tweet that you can’t wait to watch the Golden Globes again on Feb. 9.
This brilliantly passive-aggressive move will surely get the Academy’s attention. Because people can't not respond to insults on Twitter.
Start a GoFundMe, raise money for your own awards show.
Lead by example with a diverse selection of nominees and a zero-waste event that converts audience applause into clean energy.
Organize a dance party to raise awareness.
Get inspired to take action. It only takes one brave person to change the world.
Jog it out.
It won't do anything for the Oscars, but it might make you feel better.
Listen to the Oscars on the radio.
Make a statement about how talent is blind by listening to the broadcast instead of watching it. That'll show them how to make good decisions.
Point out that the Oscar statuette itself was modeled after a Mexican national named Emilio Fernandez.
The heart and soul of the Oscars will always be the beauty and talent of diversity. Don't let anyone forget that.
Only watch foreign films from now on.
Promote robot diversity.
Start a controversy about the lack of robot representation at the awards. We're tired of seeing R2 and C3PO run the stage. Where are Chappie and the Iron Giant?
Threaten them where it hurts.
Sometimes, extreme measures are necessary. Don't be afraid to aim for the family scepter for instant results.
Attend the red carpet, throw tofu at Seacrest.
And if you can't get the time off, just find someone in your office to throw food at. It will have the same effect.
Say farewell to the Oscars by watching 'The Farewell' instead.
If you love movies, why watch an awards show? Cut out the middleman and go straight to the source by watching the movies you love. Because who really cares what the Academy thinks anyway? Remember, these are the same guys that gave Crash a Best Picture win.