The Leonardo DiCaprio Guide To Getting An Oscar For Brad Pitt This Year

Photo: Mike Marsland (Getty Images)

With a Ph.D. in luxurious badassery, Leonardo DiCaprio is a true Hollywood prophet whose tales of million-dollar sushi, drugs unavailable to the general public, and the black market vintage toy underground would pique any man-bunned enthusiast’s interest. Leo’s expertise knows no boundaries, but for Brad Pitt‘s needs, the most valuable asset is revealing that mysterious head-in-a-box that has eluded Tyler Durden for decades, an Academy Award for Best Actor.

The two A-list celebrities have similar career trajectories, both starting in TV and small film roles leading to a never-ending cascade of love and adoration from audiences around the world. But somehow during years of partying, drugs, women, Italian vacations, and a personal support group that inspired HBO’s Entourage, Leo somehow managed to acquire the one man that proved unattainable in his past.

That man’s name is Oscar, and with Leo’s guidance, Brad may be ready to meet him. Here’s a step-by-step guide on how he can win that coveted gold statue.

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