Full of Sh!t: Aunt Becky And Uncle Jesse Are Bringing Down the House
Photo: Lloyd Bishop/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank (Getty Images)
On this week’s episode of Full House, Aunt Becky finds herself in a real pickle. Uncle Jesse thought his celebrity Elvis impersonation was enough to grant his children access to the most prestigious of schools. When his plan fails, Becky’s forced to take matters into her own hands without her husband’s approval.
Was Aunt Becky in the wrong? Will Uncle Jesse ever hang up his Elvis suit for good? Are Alex and Little Nicky going to wind up loser DJs (pun intended)? Let us know in the comments!
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It's a picture perfect day in beautiful San Francisco. The wind's blowing. The Alcatraz is Alcatrazing and the Golden Gate Bridge is not gold, it's orange. The sun shines on the Full House we all have accepted as deceivingly small on the outside.
Inside, Aunt Becky tells Uncle Jesse they have an important meeting today. It will determine if their twins will get into Yale, the college of their dreams. Because he's Uncle Jesse, he suggests doing a musical number as an homage to his hero, Elvis.
In the midst of this, Jesse's narcissism overtakes him and he's reminded of the time he saved the local public access channel by doing his "world famous" Elvis impression.
Becky sees the painful longing in Jesse's eyes. She wants what's best for the kids, but knows Jesse's simply a motorcycle-riding, Elvis-loving idiot. She relents even though she knows in her heart it's stupid. Jesse and Becky work on their musical number together and present it to the school.
Things do not go according to plan and the kids receive a rejection letter. Becky is crushed. Now how will she brag to all her white suburban mom friends that her underachieving children are going to their first-choice school? Sigh forever.
Since Jesse's plan backfired, Becky does as Beckys do, by taking matters into her own hands. She brings along Stephanie to act as her go-between in an attempt to bribe the school administrator.
After a confusing game of 'How much will it cost to get my basic white kids into your school for the overprivileged,' the group agrees on a solid six-figure "donation." The twins are going to Yale. The peasants rejoice.
But then the FBI shows up at Aunt Becky's place of work to tell her she's been a part of a sting operation the entire time. They place her under arrest for bribery and money laundering. Oops.
Of course, Uncle Jesse snaps out of his Elvis-laden delusion long enough to defend his wife in court. Obviously, he went to night school on his downtime and has a degree in law. When the judge asks him to enter a plea for his client, he says, "Not guilty." Someone in the courtroom chortles. The judge rolls his eyes.
Unfortunately for Aunt Becky, Uncle Jesse has never actually tried a case before and things do not go well. A federal judge instructs the jury to consider the evidence and come back with a verdict. Becky is guilty on all charges.
The judge does an eye roll that could impress Maxine Waters. He tells Aunt Becky that he's sick of seeing white people take advantage of the system. She does not get to pass go or collect $100. She does get to spend the next 20 years in federal prison. Uncle Jesse looks forlorn as the bailiff takes Aunt Becky away. As Becky turns back to see her No. 1 stud without bars between them for the last time, she notices him twisting his hips, Elvis style. He's going back on the road now that she's out of the way.
Seriously though, this boneheaded stuff pretty much happened in real life. Like, what?