Ryan Locthe Got Robbed At Gunpoint in Rio
Early Sunday, Ileana Locthe, Ryan Locthe’s mom, said he got robbed at gunpoint in Rio. Then for some reason the IOC claimed she was lying. Why? I don’t know. Maybe they’re Trump supporters. Anyway, Ryan Locthe held a press conference to confirm that, yes, Ryan Locthe was robbed at gunpoint in Rio.
“We got pulled over, in the taxi, and these guys came out with a badge, a police badge, no lights, no nothing, just a police badge, and they pulled us over,” the 32-year-old athlete confirmed to the Today show’s Billy Bush on Sunday morning. “They pulled out their guns, they told the other swimmers to get down on the ground — they got down on the ground.”
This is when Ryan Locthe assumed he was dealing with cops in America that wave at him in his gated community. He was not.
“I refused. I was like, ‘We didn’t do anything wrong, so I’m not getting on the ground… then the guy pulled out his gun, he cocked it, put it to my forehead and he said, ‘Get down,’ and I put my hands up. I was like, ‘Whatever.’ He took our money, he took my wallet — he left my cell phone, he left my credentials.”
Ryan Locthe only surrendered when he saw a gun, so that means he is a true American. Since only Locthe saw it, we can’t confirm if the guy just made a gun with his hand and said “bang bang” or not. Ryan Locthe is kinda dumb, you see.