Victoria Beckham’s Implants are Stupid

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What makes the pig nosed waif look like this – besides the obvious leather coating and hatred of food? I think she pokes a hole in her thumb and sucks it until she’s properly deflated. Her nipples are shaped like bicycle tire valve stems, so it’s easy to picture how she pumps those ridiculous looking breasts up to the desired size before heading out on the town with her much prettier husband. Posh Spice is so scary looking, I heard flowers literally die when she looks at them. Also, I heard every human who has spontaneously combusted had a picture of Victoria Beckham somewhere near them. So be careful, my friends.

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