Melanie Griffith is Retaliating

Melanie, why are you mad at the paparazzi? Shouldn’t you be flattered they still want to shoot pictures of you? Granted, this was probably a slow day and the guy had some extra film to burn, but at least you got some attention. The last time I checked IMDb … strike that … the only time I checked IMDb to see what the hell you were doing was today, and all I got was Have Mercy. I know nothing about it other than it’s directed by Kathy Bates and it’s a drama. With those collagen balloons below your nose, I can only assume you’ve been cast as a duck or a trout. I hope it’s a duck drama. There aren’t enough dramas starring ducks nowadays. I’ll go see it, but if Kathy Bates casts herself as “The Naked Duck” and joins you in the hot tub, I’m sending you the bill for a refund, my feathered friend.