Olsen Twins are More Sensual Glamour

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are the the chosen ones for Badgley Mischka’s fall line this year. Why, you ask? The designers say it’s because,

Ashley and Mary-Kate have grown up to become America’s young style icons. They have an amazing sense of fashion and individuality that intrigued us… they reflect the younger, edgier and more sensual glamour that we have incorporated in our latest fall collection.”

Yeah, okay. Being a young billionaire allows one (or two) to make certain types of fashion choices. One can either spend ridiculous amounts of money to buy stylish, cute clothes, or one can make the choice to solely shop at boutiques and make a beeline toward the section entitled Really Overpriced Ugly Crap each time. Badgley Mischka seems to find that inspiring somehow. That’s real super. What I don’t get is anyone who doesn’t fall into the category of “tween”‘s fascination with these ducks chicks. They’re the creepiest set of twins since Cheng and Eng. When I was a kid, my grandmother would buy me those dolls you couldn’t play with and had to let sit on your top shelf to collect dust. I hated those things. Their eyes always looked like they burned right through my soul and they’d climb off their shelf and kill me in my sleep if they could. The Olsen Twins are those dolls. See, look, I just got goosebumps.

Here’s a picture from that campaign:

Mary-Kate and Ashley, do us a favor and don’t change facial expressions. Ever. Perfect. Thanks.