Kevin Federline Should Shut Up

The new issue of In Touch Weekly is helping stick Kevin Federline’s Air Jordan covered foot deeper in his mouth by publishing some statements he made to a reporter while he was partying in Vegas recently.

Partying with pals in Las Vegas during the week of Britney’s 24th birthday, Kevin told a reporter that he has already consulted his lawyers and would demand a “$125 million” settlement if the marriage was to end. “I don’t like lawyers,” the aspiring rapper said as he was leaving the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino on December 3. “But in this situation, I have to get protection.” Kevin’s even told friends that he’s been advised that the prenuptial agreement he signed is “not worth the paper it is written on.”

Kevin (or “Federdouche” as many like to call him) doesn’t like lawyers in the same way that criminals don’t like cops. Most of the time you’re running from them and calling them “pigs” because you’ve done something wrong, but when you need them to save your ass, they’re your best friends. It’s sorta like having “baby mamas” (a.k.a. Shar and Britney) everywhere. Most of the time, you’re running from them and calling them “bitches”, but when you need them to pay for your cornrows and fresh set of wife beaters, they’re your favorite bitches. If we’re lucky, maybe we’ll get to point and laugh if Kevin goes to prison and is someone else’s “favorite bitch”, but that would be too funny, and I might die laughing, and I’m not ready to die just yet.

Note: I’m not saying Kevin has done anything warranting a prison term, unless being a total dirtbag is a felony.