Just A Friendly Reminder Not To Chew On Your Smartphone Battery Because It Will Explode

Photo: amesy (Getty)

You’d think we wouldn’t have to tell people not to hump dogs, not to eat Tide Pods, not to administer a knob job to a horse, not to advertise your massive drug stash on Facebook and oh yeah, not to chew on smartphone batteries.

Well, according to HuffPost, an idiot in China recently decided that chewing on a smartphone battery was actually a good idea, so he bit into one at a store in Nanjing City, Jiangsu Province.

As you have probably guessed since we’re doing a story on it, it was not a good idea.

So just why would somebody bite into a smartphone battery? Well, believe it or not, it’s actually common for people in China to bite into gold to make sure that it’s real, and that thinking has apparently carried over to smartphone batteries. But once again, kids, biting into something like a smartphone battery would be a terrible idea because…wait for it…it contains “a lot of toxic items that no one should ingest.”

Luckily, nobody was hurt this time around, but cheese and rice, people, stop doing this shit.

Also, please stop eating laundry detergent: Idiot Student At Utah State University Sent To Hospital After Eating Tide Pod