The 6 Worst College Cafeteria Foods

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As anyone who’s ever attended college (or even visited one) knows, cafeterias play an essential role in student life. A bad cafeteria is outright nauseating but even the best cafeterias leave something to be desired. Granted, it’s hard to cook for thousands of co-eds with varying nutritional needs, food allergies, and preferences. However, some cafeteria sins are unforgivable. These are the worst college cafeteria foods.

1. Boiled Zucchini and Carrots

Most people barely like carrots and zucchini when they are cooked perfectly, with a golden crust, plenty of butter, and perfectly sauteed. Yet college cafeterias have the audacity to serve these vegetables boiled. It’s as if they said, “Let’s take something students barely like, then make it soggy!” Few foods taste good boiled, and zucchini and carrots are surely among them.

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2. Haddock

Had you even heard of “haddock” prior to college? Probably not. And you certainly hadn’t tasted it. Good luck avoiding this saltwater fish now; it’s ubiquitous in college cafeteria dishes. No matter what sauce you try to throw on the bland slab of white seafood, it will remain unappealing. Maybe it’s interesting the first time you try it at college but by the second time it’s old and soon it’s downright nauseating. Salmon is a fish. Tuna is a fish. We can even count flounder and trout as fish. Haddock shouldn’t even be considered a fish. It’s an unfortunate creation that swims in the sea and should remain there, away from our plates.

3. Powdered Eggs

Welcome to the breakfast portion of cafeteria sins. Scrambled eggs are pretty damn good. They’re also not particularly complicated. Why must college cafeterias ruin a dish as delicious as eggs? Powdered eggs are far less enjoyable than real eggs; even the idea of them should be enough to keep you away from them in the morning when surveying breakfast options. #BringRealEggsBack

4. Heart Attack Bacon

There’s a problem when you’re look at a serving of meat and can’t even imagine how it comes from an animal. Regular bacon doesn’t exactly break the bank and with what tuition costs, it feels like college cafeterias could afford to splurge on some real bacon. There’s nothing appealing about the greasy shell of what bacon should be. It’s like an edible invitation to a heart attack.

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5. Taco Bar

Our issue here is not with the concept, it’s with the labeling. Serving meat, rice, and shredded cheddar cheese does not qualify as a “taco bar.” There’s a lot more to a taco bar than mere ingredients. College cafeterias grossly misuse the term. There’s nothing wrong with a meal of meat and rice. Just don’t call it a taco.

6. Soggy Pasta

Use a timer! That’s all college cafeterias need to do to perfect pasta. And yet, they seem incapable. Pasta is a great fallback option in case you don’t like any of the other dishes being offered up, but if the soggy pasta is leaking water onto your plate, the thrill of it is gone. Come on now, just boil it a little less.