Want To Know Your Sperm Count? There’s An App For That

Smart phones make love / baby, sperm going for the egg. Photo: WaffOzzy (Getty).

In today’s tech-driven society, it seems like there’s an app for just about everything. There are apps for beer, food, workouts, and of course we all know about the ones designed for hooking up with someone.

If you think you’ve heard about every app in existence, we may have a new one for you. And just like other apps, it’s available at the touch of your finger — or stroke of the wrist.

There’s An App For Measuring Your Sperm Count

Tech nerds have been busy lately developing an app that allows you to count your sperm at home. That’s right, no more going to the fertility clinic to squeeze one out. Now, you can do it in the comfort of your own spot, just like you usually do.

Medical Electronic Systems is the company behind the YO Home Sperm Test. For just $59.99, you can purchase the boxset directly from them. Shortly thereafter, it’ll cum in the mail (sorry, but we had to).

The way it works is you unload your swimmers into a cup and then mix it with a powder provided in the boxset. After about 10 minutes, your load-and-powder mix turns pink and you place a small drop of it onto a slide you can stick into a clip that attaches to your phone. The app then turns your phone’s camera into one with super-duper zoom that shoots a video of your sauce. After some analysis by the app, it will tell you if you’re fertile or not and reveal how many little guys you have swimming around.

The developers of the app say that their product is designed to help men detect potential problems early on. The earlier you know there’s junk in your junk, the better you’ll be prepared to find solutions. You don’t want to decide to start making babies and end up getting surprised with the knowledge you’re shooting blanks, guys.

Also, you may run into a problem where your girlfriend thinks you’re jerking off to graphs.

h/t Maxim

Not everyone has issues with their sperm, especially this guy whose donations to the spank bank have produced 19 kids.